good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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