Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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