Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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