I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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