how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.