i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.