porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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