My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
