i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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