Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
