hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
