I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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