Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
