Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
