Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
