You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
