I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
