They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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