I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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