i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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