mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
