i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
not ubering you a puppy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize