I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
