i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
