I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
