look no pants
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
