Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
