Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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