Just cropdusted the office
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
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I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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