matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
