Tell her she can't have a vagina
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
