Your tits are I can't wait for
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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