I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize