I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
