He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
