She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
