Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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