This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
