i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
