I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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