Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
