We won't sleep together?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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