she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize