She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
