Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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