I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just gift wrapped bread.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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