is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize