I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
