Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.