What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.