erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed