THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.