hotel room ftw
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
