guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So many bounce houses so little time
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
