i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
