I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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