you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And then he peed in my hair
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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