You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
