is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
