Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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