last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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