This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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