I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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